You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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