sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
