I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
