I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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