Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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