I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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