i jhust puked up my retainher.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
