Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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