Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
