does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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