if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
