something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
