Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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