So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
where does the pee come out of this thing
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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