please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
