I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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