life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Someone signed my nipple.
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