Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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