I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
