We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
