"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
