Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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