The maid of honor just puked.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
