you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.