Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.