Her vagina should come with caution tape.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
