Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
