apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
