how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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