ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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