Buhtt sex?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
