You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
operation harelip BJ is a go
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
