isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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