I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I had to cum in my sink.
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