she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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