Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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