called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
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I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
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I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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