are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this boner is exhausting
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
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You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Drunk is not a location!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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