just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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