If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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