My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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