I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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