Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
