my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
