Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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