theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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