I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
