And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
