he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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