it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
