I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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