walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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