from now on my penis is your penis
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i think im in europe. pls send help
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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