I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
