I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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