Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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