just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
