doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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