Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
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He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
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I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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