Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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